The Confusing Game
by Heradevion
Summary: What might happen if all of the Shichiseishis, including the Mikos, will exchange bodies? CHAPTER 6 IS UP! Phew, finally.
1. Good Night....

1 "The Confusing Game"  
  
  
  
What if things have already ended before it's even started? What if things have never turned out the way we expect it? What if all of a sudden, there was a twist of fate right in between the circumstances? What if. the Witch Doctor already showed up before the maidens could even summon the gods?  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Everyone surrenders himself to the beauty of slumber late that night. All was out cold but him. He is ever so persistent to consummate his plot. After a lot of analyses, research, formulations, and not to mention, a lot of blow- ups in the face (literally speaking) during testing the formula, he has finally completed the ultimate result.  
  
"Hahaha! At last, the Body Exchanging Potion has finally been completed! After 4 years of making this, I shall make sure that no one, not even Suzaku and Seiryuu themselves, will ever stand in my way in fulfilling my plans. HAAAA-HAHAHAHA!!!" the lunatic Witch Doctor laughed a diabolical laugh that woke half of the entire capital of Kutou.  
  
"Hey shut up there a**hole! People are tryin' to get some sleep here!" one of the griping neighbors yelled at him.  
  
Meanwhile in the distant castle of the emperor, Nakago's senses were aroused at such evil yet silly laugh that echoed from far away to the very depths of his ears. "Did you hear that, Lady Yui?" he asked the young girl who sat right beside him.  
  
"Hear what?" Yui inquired obliviously.  
  
"Never mind. Must be my imagination," Nakago just replied. "By the way, shouldn't you be going to sleep right now? We'll be having a big day ahead of us. We shouldn't be left behind by the Suzaku warriors."  
  
"You should get some rest yourself, Nakago. I've seen you train this morning. I'm sure you're pretty exhausted by now," Yui said.  
  
The two have just exchanged good nights to one another before they went to bed. Nakago laid his back flat on bed when a curvaceous figure crept over his ceramic body. He lifted his head only to find that it was.  
  
"Soi," he whispered.  
  
"Yui was right. You are exhausted, Nakago-sama. You should need it this night before you retire yourself to sleep," Soi whispered with her lips slightly touching his ear in a teasing way.  
  
"That's quite stimulating, but not now, " Nakago said.  
  
"But why not?" Soi asked.  
  
"Somebody's watching."  
  
"Who's watching?"  
  
"Wholesome image, Soi. We'll do this when the reader is not around. Who knows how young the reader might be. We wouldn't want to set a bad example for them, would you?"  
  
"(With blazing eyes set on you) O, I get it. Nosy little kids!" Soi murmured irritably. "Guess we should do this some other time then. Just call me when they're gone, Nakago- sama."  
  
Meanwhile on the other side of the castle, the twin brothers were still awake. Amiboshi removed his headband while Suboshi was changing his pajamas. Suboshi couldn't help but stare at his brother curiously.  
  
"What is it, bro?" Amiboshi asked.  
  
"You know, it's kind a funny we both look strikingly a lot like the Maiden of Seiryuu if we remove our headbands. Don't you think so, Amiboshi?" Suboshi said.  
  
"What's more funny is that it's pretty obvious that you actually have a crush on our Maiden, don't you Suboshi?" Amiboshi replied teasingly.  
  
Suboshi blushed at the thought that his brother has seen right through him.  
  
"Damn! He has read my thoughts again. We really are twin brothers after all!" Suboshi thought. He tried to dress the naked truth with his defensive denial, "What are you talking about? I only serve our Maiden because it's my duty as a Seiryuu shichiseishi to protect her, nothing more!"  
  
"Dear brother, no matter how hard you try to deny it, I can still see right. through, hi- hi, you, hi-hi-hi," Amiboshi chuckled as he bent low and looked right through the big hole of his pajamas. "Hey bro, how come there's a hole in your butt, uh- I mean rear?"  
  
Suboshi's whole face was redder with embarrassment as he turned his head to see his rear. Amiboshi's right, there is a hole in his pajamas.  
  
"Suboshi, you don't have to be ashamed of anything with me. I'm your brother," Amiboshi patted Suboshi on the shoulder. He continued, ". and you don't have to be ashamed of sharing your secrets with me either. What are brothers for anyway? C' mon, I can keep a secret."  
  
Suboshi sighed and said, "Alright, alright, you win. I confess: I kind a like have a crush on Lady Yui. I think she's so smart and pretty. But I don't think she ever will get to like me. And besides, Yui and Nakago are getting along quite well and, and."  
  
"What are you talkin' about? You're being so pessimistic, bro. Just relax. Nakago-sama said that he will introduce you to the Maiden while I'll be on a mission to Konan."  
  
Suboshi yanked out, "Really?"  
  
"Absolutely!" Amiboshi answered.  
  
"Wow, I can finally get to talk with her personally. *Blush* I'll volunteer to be her personal bodyguard. I'll show that blonde (Nakago) a piece of me! And as I serve and protect her for a long time, *blushblushblushblush* who knows when romance shall make a difference. Mr. Cupid, you've just hit me bull's eye baby! I'M INLOVE!!!"  
  
"Will you shut up, Romeo? Can't you see a kid's trying to get some sleep here! A kid your age should be asleep by now! IT'S ALREADY PASS BEDTIME!" Miboshi complained furiously from the next room.  
  
"Looks like you got a little carried away there, bro," Amiboshi teased Suboshi.  
  
Suddenly, Suboshi grabbed Amiboshi by one arm, swerved him in his upper limbs and supported Amiboshi's back with Suboshi's right arm, as if they're about to dance Tango. Amiboshi quickly got the picture and then pretended as Yui (after all, he does look a great deal like her without the headband). Suboshi bent his head over to bring his face closer to his twin's. Suboshi pretended that the one in his arms is Yui and said, "Lady Yui, I shall serve and protect you, even if it will cost my life, because I love you."  
  
Amiboshi giggled and replied, "Really? O Nakago, be gentle."  
  
To his surprise, Suboshi dropped him on the floor and exclaimed, "Nakago?!!!"  
  
Amiboshi gave out a crackling chuckle as if his butt didn't actually hurt after that fall. "Fooled you, didn't I? Hahaha."  
  
"I know that ridiculous laugh." When Suboshi finally recognized his trademark chuckle, he grasped to his breath only to find that the imposter disguised as Amiboshi was none other than.  
  
"Tomo!"  
  
(The ending theme "Tokimeki no Doukasen" now plays.)  
  
To be continued..  
  
Fushigi Yuugi© 1995 Yu Watase/ Shogakukan, TV Tokyo, Studio Pierrot/ Telesuccess Productions. 


	2. Tasuki have boobies?

1 "The Confusing Game"  
  
  
  
1.1 Chapter 2  
  
This is it- the moment that he's been waiting for all his life. He grasped to his breath as his very own Nakago-sama locked his beautiful wild blue eyes on him.  
  
"I shall serve and protect you, even if it will cost my life, because I love you, Tomo," Nakago whispered gently to Tomo.  
  
"Really? O Nakago, be gentle," he answered him back with a sissy voice.  
  
  
  
  
  
Then all of a sudden, Tomo awakened from his reverie and got back to reality as soon as his rear hit the ground with tremendous force. The vision of his beloved Nakago then changed to the bewildered Suboshi standing in front of him with awe. Instead of crying out his pain of fractured bones, he rather hid his agony with an annoying laugh which all of the shichiseshi have probably grown to get used to, excluding Yui perhaps.  
  
"Fooled you, didn't I? Hahaha," Tomo said.  
  
Suboshi didn't fail to recognize him with his silly cackle.  
  
"Tomo?!" Suboshi exclaimed.  
  
Tomo then reverted to his true form and said, "You got that right, baby! Who were you expecting? Saitoh Hajime?"  
  
"What? Sanozuke?" Suboshi asked as his sense of hearing is starting to fail him at an early age.  
  
"Baka! Can't you even get to clean your ears at least once in a while? Saitoh Hajime and Sanozuke are very far from sounding the same!" Tomo exclaimed.  
  
"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP ALREADY?!!! IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS INSTANT, I'LL HAVE ONE OF MY MONSTERS EAT YOU UP, GOT THAT?", the weird shichiseishi kid Amiboshi complained again. The two of them just ignored the crabby boy so as not to make matters any worse.  
  
"Boohoo, I'm really petrified. You really scared my pants off, you cranky li'l piece of." Suboshi murmured and was about to say the nasty "s" word when a question suddenly caught his mind. "By the way, who are Saitoh and Sanozuke?"  
  
"O_o;. Ok, now where did I hear those names before?" Tomo thought for a moment. "O just never mind!" an annoyed Tomo then exclaimed after he has proven his recollection of memory to be useless. As Suboshi recalls the preceding topic that they just tackled before they came into talking about people they don't even know (Saitoh and Sanozuke), he furiously grabbed Tomo by the collar and yelled, "Where's my brother?"  
  
"He's fast asleep in his room right at the east side of the castle. And shouldn't you be going to bed as well like your brother? That is without that hole in your pajama of course. Hahahaha!" Tomo answered with a malignant laugh.  
  
"Would you quit that stupid laugh already? You should know that it's starting to sound so annoying already," Suboshi complained.  
  
"Hah! Well at least I don't sound as annoying as the Maiden of Suzaku herself (author's note: I am certainly not using Tomo as a means of giving subtle signals that I'm dissing Miaka, so I hope that no Miaka-fan will flame me on this one. So if you need to flame somebody because of this, please don't flame me- flame Tomo instead. ^-^). (Tomo's note: ~mutters~ ¬_¬) *Ehem*, well anyways, I should go to sleep now. It's already getting late, so you should get some shut-eye too. Don't worry about your brother. He's just sound asleep by now. Good night," then Tomo walked away with his hand rubbing his rear, which is still swollen with pain from the fall.  
  
Meanwhile outside the castle, Ashitare was also sleeping peacefully inside a cage that was guarded by two soldiers. While the half-human half-beast shichiseishi was snoring and dreaming of laying himself, uh, nude on a bed of doggie bones (think Mena Suvari on a bed of roses in American Beauty), the two guards were just talking as they passed the night away. And the main topic of the talk was none other than Ashitare himself.  
  
"Hey, ever heard of the legend of a beautiful princess who turns herself to a half-human half-beast creature?" the first guard asked.  
  
"I've heard rumors about it from towns folks. But I don't know if the story I've been told is true or just one of those silly stories told to scare the children," the second guard said.  
  
"Legend has it that there was once a beautiful maiden princess who was cursed to transform into a hideous creature during the full moon. Well, we have a hideous creature with us here," the first guard said as his eyes was obviously referring to the sleeping shichiseishi inside the cage.  
  
"And a full moon with us up above," the second guard continued as he lifted his face up to the sky and set his eyes on the full moon. Afterwards, they turned to one another, looked at each other's idiotic face and chorused, "Could it be?"  
  
"Nah! It can't be true," the first guard refused to give in to such goose- bumping story. "You were right. It's nothing but some scary story to frighten those meddling kids away."  
  
  
  
Inside Tamahome's house, the Suzaku shichiseishis were also preparing themselves for a good night's rest. Tamahome just finished exchanging good nights, as well as sweet nothings and kisses too, with Miaka (you very well know how these two love birds are!); Hotohori was elegantly brushing his long beautiful tresses; Nuriko was done applying beauty cream on his face; Chichiri has just set aside his SD mask beside his bed; Mitsukake was also finished feeding Tama-neko; Chiriko has already finished his milk; and a drunk Tasuki, well, wasn't quite done yet whining about how troublesome girls can be while he was taking a pee in the bushes. He just fell into the river that day while chasing Miaka who stole his bread for lunch. Poor Tasuki- they still didn't know about his weakness in water that time.  
  
All is well during that night, as if no weird twist of fate will soon follow to what seemed to be a tranquil snooze at that time. The race is on for the side of Suzaku and the side of Seiryu, but both parties have absolutely no idea of what awaits them. As all of them are safely tucked into their bed sheets while enjoying their wonderful sweet dreams, now is the perfect time for the Witch Doctor to fulfill his plot. He carefully handles the Body-Transferring Compass in his hands. He then started to articulate some ridiculously sounding chants for the ritual. After the chanting, the spellbinding Body-Transferring technique has finally been completed, much to the delight of the Witch Doctor.  
  
  
  
The next morning, Tasuki was the first one to have risen up to take a pee in the bushes. As he passed by the kitchen, Miaka was already up as well. Tasuki realized that he was mistaken. Miaka has already wakened up earlier so as not to miss breakfast (why am I not surprised!). Funny though- the effect of the sake that Tasuki drank last night still hasn't lost its effect on him yet because he's hallucinating. He sees Miaka as a handsome and well-built man who strikingly resembles the shogun of Kutou, otherwise one of the Seiryu shichiseishi- Nakago.  
  
"Good morning, Tasuki," Miaka greeted. Her squeaky voice still sound the same though. But the vision of Miaka as Nakago with her same voice appears to be so. ugh! He has never had an illusion like this before in his entire life, most especially when he's drunk.  
  
"I guess I should cut on drinking too much sake then," Tasuki mumbled to himself. "I'm starting to see things already. Terrible things that is. and I do mean 'terrible'." He then stood beside the bushes, readying himself to squirt the morning grace out of him. Now this time, his hallucination has gone too far! When he tried to position his you-know-what to pee, he held.. nothing. Nothing at all. He tried as hard as he could to survey "that" area with his hands and prove to himself that it's just another hallucination from drunkenness- but to no avail. When he looked down to see his you-know- what, the first body part of his which immediately and shockingly caught his eye is his.. cleavage! Now this kind of predicament is powerful enough to make him sober.  
  
"A woman's boobies?!!" Tasuki screamed. He noticed a small pond of water nearby. He took a glimpse of his own image only to see a woman's reflection in the water! It's a woman with long, red tresses and slant, seductive eyes. And it's not just any woman, it's one of the Seiryu seishi, Soi! The situation is just too much for him to handle, so this led him to cry out, "No! This isn't happening! This isn't happening to me! Miaka!"  
  
He hurriedly ran inside the house to check on Miaka and the others. Tasuki figured that he should be sober enough to see things normally again the way they should be and that he should no longer see Miaka as Nakago. When he entered the door, such unbelievable sight let him drop his jaw in awe. The same trepidation hasn't changed. Nakago is still in the house sounding like Miaka! Miaka, or Nakago, or whatever, stood beside the table with bewildered eyes and trembling lips. Either the two of them doesn't know what to do and what to believe in.  
  
"Hey you guys, what are you up so early? Is anything alright?" Yui, with her voice that sounded like Tamahome, came out of his room and asked. Later, the entire kitchen is then filled with the whole Seiryuu bunch.  
  
  
  
(The ending theme "Tokimeki no Doukasen" now plays.)  
  
To be continued..  
  
2 Fushigi Yuugi© 1995 Yu Watase/ Shogakukan, TV Tokyo, Studio Pierrot/ Telesuccess Productions. 


	3. Encounter thy self!

1 "The Confusing Game"  
  
  
  
1.1 Chapter 3  
  
"Daaaaaa! What's going on around here? Why are all the Seiryuu seishi here, no da?" Suboshi, who sounded like Chichiri, asked.  
  
"What!?! How the heck should I know? You're one of them, you should know!" Amiboshi, who sounded like Nuriko, replied heatedly.  
  
"Uhm, pardon me, but aren't you supposed to be one of them as well?" Miboshi, whose manly voice for a little squirt like him sounded like Mitsukake, asked. "And by the way, why the heck do I feel a bit shorter today?"  
  
"It's because you are Miboshi, the shortest member there is of the Seiryuu shichiseishi! You should know that already by now. And I probably must've drank too much milk last night, 'cause I feel much taller this morning," Tomo, who sounded very much like Chiriko, said. "And I thought I'm the shortest character in this story."  
  
"Yikes! It's Tomo the homo! You slept with your make-up on, didn't you?" Yui, who sounded like Tamahome, exclaimed.  
  
"Aaaaaaa! Is this supposed to be my punishment for drinking too much sake!?!" Soi, who sounded like Tasuki, cried. "I can't stay like this forever! Women are nothing but trouble! I hate women!"  
  
"Aaaah! This isn't happening! No, this is not real! This is all just part of a horrible dream. This isn't real! This isn't real!" Nakago, who sounded like Miaka, squealed after his stomach growled with hunger.  
  
"Calm down, just calm down everybody," Ashitare, who sounded very much like Hotohori, explained. "Let's just take it easy. We should be able to trace things up after we'll handle this in an appropriate and calm way."  
  
All of them stared at him with eyes wide open. They all screamed with fright and then ran outside the house after seeing a man-beast creature inside the kitchen. Ashitare, who sounded like Hotohori, ran after them outside and yelled, "Where are you going? Come on you guys, we don't look our best in the morning you know."  
  
They continued to scram towards the woods where they encountered another bunch of people. They stopped to stand face to face with the other group. They then realized that the people standing there are Miaka, Tamahome, Hotohori, Nuriko, Tasuki, Chichiri, Mitsukake and Chiriko.  
  
There was silence for a moment.  
  
After they had proven to themselves that what they saw was real, all of them, including the other group, chorused, "Eh look, it's us."  
  
Then there was silence once again for a moment.  
  
"Hmmm, what a fine, handsome young man you have with you," Ashitare, who sounded very much like Hotohori, asked as he eyed the person who looks very much like the emperor.  
  
"~Roars~. " Hotohori, who sounded, uh roared like Ashitare, answered.  
  
"Hey! Wait a sec. Why the heck do you guys look very much like us?" Amiboshi, who sounded just like Nuriko, asked them.  
  
"Beats us! We should be the ones to ask you that question!" Chichiri, who sounded very much like Suboshi, exclaimed.  
  
"I suppose it is only fitting if you should be listening to what Nakago is going to tell us first. For a meantime, let us set aside the differences between us and find out whoever is behind this, since it is quite obvious that none of us is responsible for this," Yui, who is then in Tamahome's body, interrupted the argument. Then she bewilderedly looked at Miaka who is in Nakago's body and added, "Erm, *gulp* however, it doesn't mean that I've forgiven you for what you just did, Miaka."  
  
"Yui." Nakago, who sounded like Miaka, was dumbfounded for a while. And then at the same time, she blushed (with Nakago's face for that matter) as she took a long stare at her former best friend who is now in her boyfriend's body. It is, after all, Tamahome's body in front her.  
  
"Miaka, would you stop looking at me that way?" Yui, who is then in Tamahome's body, blushed too at the sight of Nakago staring at her like that, though she knows very well that it's actually Miaka staring at her- but has forgotten about it anyway.  
  
"Eeeewww! Can you believe this? Two guys staring at each other.like that?!!! Ugh! Would you cut it out already? It's like so disgusting! Even worse than a woman!" Tasuki, who is in Soi's body, exclaimed.  
  
"Baka! You _are_ now a woman, brain of flea! I can't believe I could be so unfortunate to have my precious, beautiful body in your possession. And no, that's not all. The worse part is that I get to be in your skinny, puny li'l body!" Soi, who is in Tasuki's body, grumbled.  
  
"Well at least my body is still not yet deprived of_its_purity. Right, Nakago?" Tasuki, who is in Soi's body, teased as he mischievously eyed Nakago beside him. But Nakago just answered him with a clueless blink. Tasuki was also surprised until the real Nakago, who is then in Miaka's body, patted his shoulder from behind. Only then did he remember that Miaka is in Nakago's body.  
  
"Let's quit baffling around and listen to me. I think you ought to know what just took place inside the emperor's castle early this morning," Nakago, who is in Miaka's body, voiced out. Then he further continued, "Just this night, I sneaked into Soi's bedroom to check-up on her."  
  
"Ehem, 'sneaked' into her bedroom? To 'check-up' on her eh? That figures," Tomo, who is in Chiriko's body, teased with hentai written all over his face.  
  
"As I was saying, Tomo, I was just checking-up on her!" Nakago said while grabbing the dude by the collar and staring at him with eyes narrowing out of infuriation. The poor squirt just sweat dropped with a frightened smile that obviously pleaded for mercy. Then Nakago continued on as he vividly recalled what had happened, "Anyways, when I took a closer look at her in bed."  
  
(Start of Nakago's flashback)  
  
Soi was entirely wrapped inside the sheets, thus revealing only her hair. It was then that she was caught talking in her sleep.  
  
"No! Nakago is mine. All mine! You can't take him away from me, Yui," she murmured in between her soft snores.  
  
Nakago just sweat dropped after that. However, he realized that there was something wrong. Her dark copper hair has gone lighter, more like an orange shade, and her body's curves had just changed. And as he tried to move closer to her, she smelled like sake. When Nakago figured that there was really something fishy going on, he abruptly removed the sheets from her to reveal that Soi has turned into a boy with fangs- plus the smell of sake! She still remained asleep after the sheets had been removed and then suddenly gave Nakago a fatal blow on the face.  
  
"Take that, Suzaku no Miko! That's what you'll get for butting in," Soi said while dreaming of knocking off Miaka.  
  
Although that blow wasn't actually powerful enough to bring Nakago to dreamland as well, that punch sure was strong enough to bring the stars right down to earth and dance around him. After the stars were done whirling around him when he had gained full consciousness, he went outside the room when he encountered a soldier on patrol.  
  
"Huba! Huba! What brings you here, babe?" the soldier taunted. Angered, Nakago delivered a blow to the guard's face that was powerful enough to bring the latter to dreamland and bring some of the pieces of his teeth to the floor. Strange though, why had the guard mistaken him for a babe? And what if Soi, who has then turned into an orange-haired fang boy, wasn't just dreaming back then but was actually seeing what she really saw in her room and had just mistaken it to be part of her dream? Alarmed, he instantly looked at his own reflection using the unconscious soldier's shiny armor. Hard but true, he really has taken the form of the Suzaku no Miko. It was hard for him to accept at first. He ran to Amiboshi's room to check up on him. Hard but true again, he could hardly believe his own eyes when he saw Amiboshi turned into a Suzaku shichiseishi with beauty cream on his face! And the same goes to the rest of the other Seiryuu shichiseishi- Miboshi has outgrown his bed and sheets with a man's full-grown body that he could hardly even fit into his little bed; while Tomo has shrunk into a cute little kid; and Suboshi has turned himself into a blue-haired scar- faced guy.  
  
"This doesn't get any worse than this!" Nakago frustratingly said. As he stood beside an open window, he overheard two amazed guards talking outside the castle.  
  
"Look! Do you see that? It's true, it's true! The legend of the beautiful princess is actually real!" one guard exclaimed as he pointed to the sleeping creature with such heavenly beauty inside the cage. No doubt Ashitare hasn't been excused in this strange phenomenon either. And the last person to have crossed his mind is.  
  
"Lady Yui!" Nakago exclaimed.  
  
He rushed to her room as fast as he could to find her body transformed into....  
  
"It's that wimp from Konan!"  
  
(End of Nakago's flashback)  
  
"Who you callin' wimp, you pea-brain?" Tamahome, who is in Yui's body, exclaimed.  
  
"Daaa, take it easy. We don't have time for this, no da," Chichiri, who is in Suboshi's body, tried his hardest to calm down Tamahome who is in Yui's body. Nakago, who's in Miaka's body, just turned his head away and smirked.  
  
"Alright, knock it off. Why don't we find the culprit fast! I'm tired of being in this li'l squirt's body. Let's not waste time," Mitsukake, who is then in Miboshi's body, said.  
  
"Eh, that's not nice!" Miboshi, who is in Mitsukake's body, bent down on him and asked while pushing his index finger into the kid's chest. Then he rubbed his former body's bald little head and said, "Don't forget, we're in each other's bodies, got that?"  
  
"Ehehe, *gulp*, right. By the way, doesn't it feel weird to be talking to me who is then in your body? It's like talking to yourself, right? Ehehe," Mitsukake replied nervously. When Miboshi turned his back on him, he thought, "Wait until I'll get back into my own body, I'll teach that dinky li'l kid a lesson on respecting his elders!"  
  
"Um, pardon me li'l tabby, but what do you suggest we should do to find that darned psycho that's responsible for this?" Tasuki, who is in Soi's body, asked.  
  
There was silence for a moment.  
  
"Uhh, 0_0; we take the boat?"  
  
And quite surprisingly, everyone agreed! o_0;  
  
"Uh, where would we get a boat, no da?" Chichiri, who is in Suboshi's body, inquired.  
  
There was silence again for a moment.  
  
"Uh, 0_O; over there!" Mitsukake quickly pointed to a beach very far away from the woods.  
  
And quite surprisingly again, everyone agreed! o_0; (actually it's really 12:32 in the morning and my mind is all cranking up, so I hope you'll give me a break ^-^;)  
  
And so they traveled all the way to the beach in the hopes of finding a boat.  
  
"So after we find ourselves a boat, where should we head to?" Hotohori, who is in Ashitare's body, asked.  
  
Miaka, who is in Nakago's body, smelled something and interrupted, "Hey you guys, did you smell something? It smells like glazed chicken and beef curry with fried onions!" Then Miaka's stomach growled. "And I haven't had breakfast this morning!"  
  
But Hotohori just ignored what Miaka's been saying and persisted to get a response to his question, "So where will we go to after we get on a boat?!!" The man-beast emperor eyed little bald Mitsukake beside him. Hotohori continued, "Well, this is supposed to be your idea, so you should know the answer to my question!"  
  
"Well,"  
  
"Well?!!"  
  
"Well, uh, as I was saying, there is no definite location to the culprit's whereabouts, and,"  
  
"And?!!!"  
  
Suddenly, Tamahome, who is in Yui's body, interrupted the argument, "By the way, has anyone seen Miaka?"  
  
"Uh, Tammy, I hate to tell you this, but I think Miaka's lost," Amiboshi, who is in Nuriko's body, finally said his line while there is still beauty cream all over his face!  
  
To his horror, Tamahome screamed to the top of his lungs, "MIAKAAAAAAA!!!"  
  
(The ending theme "Tokimeki no Doukasen" now plays.)  
  
To be continued..  
  
2 Fushigi Yuugi© 1995 Yu Watase/ Shogakukan, TV Tokyo, Studio Pierrot/ Telesuccess Productions. 


	4. Pandemonium with Miboshi's Monsters

Author's blabbering: For the reader's convenience, I think I should give you a brief rundown first on who has exchanged bodies with whom:  
  
Miaka-Nakago  
  
Tamahome-Yui  
  
Hotohori-Ashitare  
  
Nuriko-Amiboshi  
  
Chichiri-Suboshi  
  
Tasuki-Soi  
  
Mitsukake-Miboshi  
  
Chiriko-Tomo  
  
Ok you guys, if you want to get on with the story, you can just skip this part and head on with chapter 4. Anyhow, starting on this chapter, I would minimize on using those "(character's name), who is in (character's name)'s body" lines. I think it'll just make things confusing. Besides, you can always refer to the guide above if ever you forget the ones that have exchanged bodies. (=^-^=) But I would still get back with these lines only if it's really needed- especially on my upcoming chapters wherein they get to switch bodies with another new characters. A better title? Ehehe, to be perfectly honest, I couldn't think of any better title as I wrote this story. Maybe the reason on why I entitled this "The Confusing Game" is because the characters themselves are confused when they switched bodies? Whatever. By the way, thanks a lot to Rosalinda Brava and Me (no I'm not thanking myself, it's the reviewer's name) for being the first ones to review this boring crap. (=^^=);  
  
"The Confusing Game"  
  
Chapter 4  
  
"MIAKAAAAAAA!!!" Tamahome shouted his lungs out in despair.  
  
"God you scream like a girl! And you even look like a girl too. Hahaha!" Tasuki exclaimed. Annoyed, Tamahome grabbed Tasuki's fan and bonked it on his head. In return, Tasuki got the tessen back and literally flamed poor Tamahome's slender feminine figure. Then the two proceeded to beat each other silly into a pulp with barbaric finesse.  
  
"Are you ready to give? Say uncle! Say uncle!" Tasuki shouted triumphantly above Tamahome while twisting his adversary's leg.  
  
"Ok Tasuki, cut it out already! I surrender!" Tamahome cried. Tasuki decided to give the poor guy a chance. But when he let go, Tamahome then quickly carried Tasuki by the riverside and positioned to throw his aqua phobic comrade into the water. Tasuki screamed and waggled and cursed Tamahome who is ever so ready to drown him into the river.  
  
Now picture Yui and Soi doing all these.  
  
"Uh, Tamahome, why are you so upset? I'm right here," Miaka said as she suddenly appeared behind him. Relieved, Tamahome then grabbed Miaka in his warm embrace and whispered, "Miaka, where have you been? I was worried sick! You know how much you mean to me."  
  
Although Tamahome knows very well that it's actually Miaka in his arms, he shriveled at the sight of Nakago embracing him.  
  
Now picture Nakago being cradled in the arms of Yui ala Miaka and Tamahome style (eeewww!).  
  
"Tamahome.."  
  
"Miaka.."  
  
"Tamahome.."  
  
"Miaka.."  
  
"O will you two knock it off already? You both look so absurd!" Yui voiced out as she got sick of the two displaying so much affection in public.  
  
"O Lord Hotohori, how come you're not saying a word all day?" Nuriko said flirtingly as he sat very close to the emperor. But the latter only blinked twice after Nuriko said that.  
  
"Aaah! Nuriko help me!" the real Hotohori screamed while scratching his body like crazy. Only then did Nuriko remember that Hotohori and Ashitare have exchanged bodies.  
  
"Your Highness, what's wrong? Is there anything I can do to help?" Nuriko asked the creature scratching in front of him.  
  
"Nuriko! I can't stand this anymore! Ashitare's got fleas all over his body! So itchy! Itchy itchy itchy itchy!!! Chichiri, use your magic or something!" Hotohori yelled with itchy agony.  
  
"Daaaa! Of course I'll help you, Your Highness. Only if you'd stay away from me so that I won't catch my self one of your danged fleas, no da!" Chichiri answered. Meanwhile, Suboshi just couldn't stop sneezing from behind. When Mitsukake noticed, he approached to him and said, "You're allergic , aren't you?"  
  
"You bet I am! Hachooo! *sniff* I'm allergic to cats and dogs. Ever since that darned Ashitare showed up, I just couldn't stop sneezing."  
  
Heh, no wonder Ashitare wasn't given enough airtime in the series!  
  
Then Suboshi continued, "Hachooo! Say, you're a doctor, right? You wouldn't happen to have some remedy for my allergy, would you? *sniff*"  
  
Just before Mitsukake could even say a thing, Tama-neko crept out of nowhere and instantly hopped on the shoulder of Suboshi who is in Chichiri's body. The cat was fond of Chichiri but didn't realize at first that he's actually sitting on Suboshi's shoulder.  
  
"Aaah! A cat! Stay away from me.. ha-ha-haaaachoooooo!" Suboshi exclaimed. The cat got scared, quickly jumped off his shoulder and landed on Ashitare's lap. The fur ball in front of him alarmed Ashitare, which made his canine instincts emerge and then ran around chasing the scardy cat away. All that Nuriko could do is to only watch them in dismay. Meanwhile, Miboshi is starting to become teary-eyed as he kept on searching for Nakago.  
  
"Uncle Nakago? Uncle N-Nakago? Uncle Nakkie?" the poor squirt whimpered.  
  
"Hihihi, Uncle Nakkie eh? That sounds cute. What's his problem anyway?" Chiriko asked Tomo beside him.  
  
"O no! Here we go again!" Tomo cried.  
  
"Why? What does Miboshi want from Nakago?"  
  
"He wants it now?"  
  
"He wants what, Tomo?"  
  
"He wants to take a bath and he wants it now! But what shall we do? Nakago is nowhere to be found!"  
  
"So what's the big deal about that?"  
  
"You don't understand!" Tomo said shaking. "There'll be hell to pay if Nakago won't give it to him! He wants only Nakago to give him a bath everyday, no one else."  
  
"Hah! Nakago giving Miboshi a bath?!!" Tasuki snickered from behind at what he heard. "I never thought that pain-in-the-ass of a shogun is such a muffin to give the squirt a bath! So why won't just any of you danged Seiryuu jus give the, uh, *looks at Miboshi, who is now in Mitsukake's body, from head to foot*, ahem, little kid a bath?"  
  
"As what I've mentioned earlier, he wants 'only' Nakago to give him a bath and no one else!" Tomo answered hysterically. "If Nakago won't show up any minute now, then, then..*gulp*"  
  
"Then what?" Tasuki and Chiriko chorused nervously.  
  
"UNCLE NAKKIIIIIIE!!! WHAAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" the bigmouth and spoiled Miboshi stomped his feet real hard, squatted on the floor and cried uncontrollably. "NAKAGO!!! WHAAAAAHA!!!"  
  
When Miboshi wailed, a number of rampaging monsters then came out of nowhere and started attacking everyone in sight.  
  
"Now you understand what I've been trying to tell you?" Tomo said to the dumbfounded Tasuki and Chiriko. Tamahome then quickly carried Miaka in his arms and then placed her in a safe place (picture Yui carrying Nakago in her arms to protect him ala Miaka and Tamahome style. Eeewww!).  
  
"Hey! This is not fair! I have no one else to protect me!" Yui exclaimed. Then Suboshi quickly flew to her aid and rescued her from the storming beasts. Suboshi sweat dropped at the sight of his beloved Yui looking like Tamahome. Then at the same time, Yui was speechless at the sight of a blue- haired monk saving her, without the "no das" that is. Then the rest were so busy fighting off Miboshi's monsters.  
  
"Re-ka Shinen!" Tasuki shouted, in Soi's body for that matter.  
  
Amiboshi played his death tune with his flute. But quite unfortunately, the monsters that surrounded him are all wearing Walkmans. Smart monsters.  
  
"Hehehe! Hey look, it's the cross-dresser!" one of the monsters jeered at Amiboshi. He got infuriated by this and started bonking each one of the monsters instead with his flute.  
  
Meanwhile, as Miaka was hiding behind the bushes, a small yet strong pair of hands covered her mouth and dragged her to another place. Unbeknownst to everybody, Miaka has been kidnapped! But who kidnapped her?  
  
Back to the struggling Seishis..  
  
"I hate to do this, but it seems that we have no other choice left!" Tomo cried. Then he used one of his magical clams to transform himself to Nakago. Tomo then talked Miboshi out, saying, "Miboshi, I'm here. I'm ready to give you your bath, big boy."  
  
When Miboshi saw who he thought was Nakago, he finally shut his big mouth and the rest of his monsters then disappeared.  
  
When Tomo approached Miboshi, who is in Mitsukake's body, he exclaimed, "The hell! What was I thinking?!!! Am I actually gonna give this man a bath?!!!" When he was about to back out, Nuriko blocked his way.  
  
"O no you don't!" Nuriko said as he pushed Tomo back in front of Miboshi. "We've had just about enough with those ugly monsters. Now you're gonna give him a bath whether you like it or not, 'Uncle Nakkie!'"  
  
Then Miboshi formed a very cheeky and delightful grin and said, "O Uncle Nakkie!"  
  
Meanwhile..  
  
"Nakago, why are you doing this to me? We're in a middle of a crisis here! Why are you kidnapping me? What are you planning to do?" Miaka screamed as Nakago froze her body using his chi. They are both alone in a cave. What Nakago has in mind is to take advantage of the situation and take away the Suzaku no Miko's virginity.  
  
"You won't get away with this, you perv!" Miaka exclaimed.  
  
"It is you who won't get away with this, Maiden of Suzaku! After we're done with this, your body will no longer be pure when we get back to our own bodies. You can no longer summon Suzaku once your virginity is gone!" Nakago said, forming a very evil grin on his face. Uh, on Miaka's face that is.  
  
Miaka attempting to rape Nakago? Uh, I mean Nakago attempting to rape Miaka? O no, this is terrible! I mean, could you imagine yourself trying to rape you? That's horrible!  
  
"Tamahome!!!" Miaka cried.  
  
"O no, not again!" Tasuki pleaded.  
  
"O no! Miaka's in trouble!" Tamahome exclaimed.  
  
"Tell me something I don't know!" Chiriko whispered at Tasuki.  
  
"Miaka's always in trouble, isn't she?" Soi mumbled.  
  
"MIAKAAAAA!!!" Tamahome shouted.  
  
"Argh! Would you get on with the ending theme already!" Nuriko griped.  
  
(The ending theme "Tokimeki no Doukasen" now plays.)  
  
To be continued..  
  
Fushigi YuugiÂ© 1995 Yu Watase/ Shogakukan, TV Tokyo, Studio Pierrot/ Telesuccess Productions. 


	5. Miko Trapped in a Seishi's Body

"The Confusing Game"  
  
Miaka- Nakago  
  
Tamahome-Yui  
  
Hotohori- Ashitare  
  
Nuriko- Amiboshi  
  
Chichiri- Suboshi  
  
Tasuki- Soi  
  
Mitsukake- Miboshi  
  
Chiriko- Tomo  
  
Chapter 5  
  
"The cave is dark and cold, and so are his intentions. All hope slowly slip away from my great expectations of being with Tamahome. I feel like my soul is drowning in my own ocean of sorrow. My dreams are now shattered into pieces! I am no longer worthy to be called the Maiden of Suzaku and then become my beloved's bride. To be stripped of my clothes and innocence is to be stripped of my dignity. I failed as a good friend of Yui, as a priestess of the mantle of Suzaku, and now, as a wife of Tamahome. I have lost everything: my best friend, my family, my mission, and now my lover. So must I have to stare at my own self who is now standing above me with her foot tapping, arms folded across her chest and face frowning?"  
  
Nakago, who is in Miaka's body, interrupts her pondering, "Aren't you done yet? Let me remind you that you are still in 'my' body. Do me a favor and stop making me look bad! 'My soul is drowning in my own ocean of sorrow'? 'My dreams are now shattered into pieces'? Not to mention, you sounded so corny back there! And goodness, 'I failed as a wife of Tamahome'?!! Ugh! I can't believe I actually heard my self said that!"  
  
Miaka, who is in Nakago's body, gets angered by what he just said and challenges him, "Eat my shorts! What are you doing all this time standing there anyway? I thought you said you're gonna take advantage of the situation here and take away my virginity!"  
  
"I didn't say that. The narrator did- in chapter 4 to be exact."  
  
"Uh, yeah, right. So c'mon! Why don't you do your stuff already? I'm waiting!"  
  
Nakago is surprised of what he just heard her say, "o_O; Huh? But you just mentioned earlier about your dreams of marrying Tamahome and…"  
  
"So what about it?!!"  
  
He then sported a devilish grin and said, "I should tell this to Tamahome. You're gonna be in big trouble!"  
  
"No, please! I-I was only kidding. Really. I didn't mean what I said," Miaka kneels beside him, holds his lower limb tightly in her arms, and pleads.  
  
"Well, even if you did mean what you just said, *stares down at Miaka who is now looking precisely like him*… (gulp!) little girl, I still would be having shivers doing it. Besides, I can't imagine my self actually doing it with someone who looks exactly me!"  
  
"So you're gonna let me go?"  
  
"No!" Nakago forcefully answers. "You think I'm stupid? Shivers aside, I'm gonna take advantage of this opportunity while everyone out there is busy fighting off Miboshi's minions."  
  
"Fighting Miboshi's minions? You're telling me that everyone out there is now in grave danger?"  
  
"Everything should go according to plan. I intentionally left Miboshi all by himself. Right now, he should already be looking for me to give him his daily bathing session. *Blush* you very well know how kids are. And I'm definitely aware that Miboshi could be such a spoiled brat. What Miboshi wants, Miboshi gets. Whenever I'm nowhere to be found, and he doesn't get his bath, he'll belt out with those monsters like hell, leaving your friends- and the others for that matter- in total distress!"  
  
"You- you're such a bad man! You don't even care about your fellow Seiryuu seishi's welfare!"  
  
"Ah, but being bad has never felt this good!" he then used more of his powers to telekinetically force Miaka to lye on the floor. Nakago bends closer above her to grasp her face (or is it his face?) with his mighty hand (or is it Miaka's hand?). "Miaka, I have taken my armor off and let my guard down in anticipation of this. I expect you make this worthwhile." O I just love that part of the series when Nakago said these lines! *Nakago's eyes are glaring at the narrator for a moment.* "Ahem, now hold still while I… wait a minute. *Wince* what's that strange sensation I just felt? And it's kind of painful too. *Wince again* Ah, here we go again!"  
  
And because of this, the hold of his chi that froze Miaka's movement becomes weaker and weaker, thereby allowing her to move freely once again. As Nakago curled-up beside her while enduring the weird pain he's never felt when he was still in his original body, Miaka sits beside him to observe his critical condition.  
  
"Is there anything I can do to help?"  
  
"I don't need your help!"  
  
"O come on now, you're definitely going to need a female's touch at this one. Look," she points to a spot on his skirt (Nakago should be in skirts right now because he's still in Miaka's body).  
  
Nakago sits up, turns around and examines a certain area of his skirt to look at the spot closer.  
  
"It's a stain, and it's red. A red stain!"  
  
Duh!  
  
*Nakago glares at the narrator again, picks up a stone and throws it at the poor author's head. Ouch! Hey, I'm seeing stars dancing around me! *  
  
"Miaka, what is the meaning of this?!!"  
  
"Nakago, I hate to ruin your pleasantries and all, but I'm afraid you can't 'consummate' your plot on me this time," Miaka delightfully smiles.  
  
"Why is that?!!" Nakago frustratingly asked.  
  
"Because it's now your monthly period, silly! It's a girl thing."  
  
"You mean to say… monthly menstruation?"  
  
"Absolutely right! Haven't you ever wondered why Yui always gets cranky in that time of the month? I suppose maybe you have noticed this with Soi as well. That's called premenstrual syndrome, or PMS for short. It's a girl thing too."  
  
"This isn't getting any worse!"  
  
"But don't despair! I'll help you find a pad and I'll teach you how to use it."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Oh I fully understand how you feel. What you're feeling right now is definitely PMS. We share the same sentiments when it comes to matters like this. And by the way, it's not advisable to take a bath while you're having your period."  
  
"Aaaaaahhh!!!……."  
  
  
  
"………Aaaaaahhh!!! MIAKAAAAAHH!!!" Meanwhile, Tamahome, who is in Yui's body, isn't quite done screaming Miaka's name yet.  
  
"Hihihi. Seiryuu no Miko really looks so funny," Miboshi, who is in Mitsukake's body, amusingly ogles at Tamahome while splashing water inside an inflatable pool Tomo had provided. Considering the fact that Tomo's from ancient China, we'll never know where he got it.  
  
Nearest to the inflatable pool is little bald Mitsukake who is now soaking wet, "Would you stop splashing already? I'm all wet here! I can't stand watching my self splashing water like a little kid anymore. I'm even way too big to fit in the pool! This is sooo embarrassing!"  
  
"Will somebody find that pesky Miaka already?!! I can't take this any longer!" Tasuki, who is trapped in Soi's body, demands.  
  
"I knew all those Suzaku people are quite disturbed," Amiboshi, who is in Nuriko's body, said while holding an umbrella to shelter him to what seemed to be a rain shower from Miboshi's pool. In fact, the rest of the Seiryuu warriors, including Mitsukake, are already very wet from the, uh, 'little' child's playful acts. Save for the calm and cool Amiboshi who has an umbrella, he's the only Seiryuu shichiseishi who managed to stay dry.  
  
"Curse that darned Nakago! This is his entire fault! If he hadn't scrammed away along with the Suzaku no Miko, this wouldn't have happened to us in the first place!" Suboshi, who is in Chichiri's body, angrily wrings his wet clothes with fury burning in his eyes. "He obviously doesn't care that much about his comrades! He just left us almost losing our lives over those monsters. If there's any way we can do to make him pay."  
  
"Yeah, you're absolutely right!" Soi, who is in Tasuki's body, agrees. "The fact that he ran off with Miaka really infuriates me! What could he possibly be doing alone with her? Argh! I don't even wanna think about it! The Suzaku no Miko and Nakago should pay for this!"  
  
"Yeah!" all of the Seiryuu warriors chorused in agreement. Save for Tomo- the most loyal comrade, Miboshi- who obliviously continues to play in the water, and Yui- the one he has vowed to serve and protect.  
  
Meanwhile, the Suzaku shichiseishi have their share of casualties as well. Tamahome won't stop until Miaka shows up.  
  
"Daaa! Seems that there's no other choice left," Chichiri, who is in Suboshi's body, pops an idea.  
  
"What is it? Have you already found Miaka already?" Hotohori, who is in Ashitare's body, halts scratching for a moment to ask the question.  
  
"No, your Highness. But I have a better alternative," Chichiri then uses his magic to transform himself to Nakago. "Well, Miaka is in Nakago's body, no da? Perhaps I should give it a try. Hope it works, no da."  
  
In the form of Nakago, Chichiri flirtingly struts his way to Tamahome, "I feel so sexy, no da!" Hey, what's so sexy about that? The sight of Nakago strutting with womanly finesse: stomach in, breast out, butt out, hips swaying- well, you get the picture. Chichiri strikes a seductive pose in front of the wailing Tamahome and says, "Tamahome, I'm here."  
  
"Oh Miaka, thank goodness you're back! Where have you been? I was worried sick," Tamahome tightly embraces in his arms who he thought was Miaka in Nakago's body. Unbeknownst to him, the rest of the Suzaku warriors all give a thumbs-up to Chichiri in Tamahome's back. They feel a sense of relief for a job well done.  
  
"Peace and quiet once again," Nuriko, who is in Amiboshi's body, sighs.  
  
While Tamahome still feels strange embracing who appears to be the blonde shogun of Kutou army, Chichiri finds being in the Seiryuu no Miko's arms isn't so bad. In fact, it even feels so wonderful to him!  
  
"*To be said in a soft, sensual and passionate voice* Daaa…." Chichiri intoxicates himself with Yui's smell. Then he says in the back of his mind, "I should date Yui someday."  
  
"Wait a minute, did you just say… daaa?" Tamahome quickly backs away and bats his eyes in question. Chichiri's heart was thumping like crazy and doesn't know what to do or say next. Then the rest of the Suzaku warriors all spanked their foreheads at once in frustration.  
  
"We're doomed! Chichiri blew it!" Mitsukake, who is in Miboshi's body, cried.  
  
(The ending theme "Tokimeki no Doukasen" now plays.)  
  
To be continued…  
  
Fushigi Yuugi© 1995 Yu Watase/ Shogakukan, TV Tokyo, Studio Pierrot/ Telesuccess Productions. 


	6. Wicked (uh, actually I can't think of an...

(All Seiryuu shichiseishis glare their eyes towards the authoress.)  
  
Heradevion: (Stifles a nervous giggle) Ehehe, ahem, uh, where did we leave the last time, minna?  
  
Suboshi: The last time? You mean like decades ago?  
  
Nakago: It's about time you show up.  
  
Tomo: (Twirling the ornamental feather from his headpiece with his fingers in a snotty way) Well, well, well, if it isn't the great FY writer, Heradevion. I thought Godzilla already devoured you alive, or maybe you married King-Kong or something.  
  
Heradevion: *gulp* King-Kong? God forbid.  
  
Soi: This better be worth the wait, woman! (Her eyes are now shining and glimmering with lightning) What were you doing all this time anyway?  
  
Heradevion: Sorry, guys. C'mon, try to understand my situation here. How would you feel if you were in my place? I was too busy fighting those darn Saiyajins who are out to destroy earth, and then the next thing I know was that some guys from Guinea Ryodan were after me, and then I moved out of town to become a rurouni and then at the same time avoid Shishio and his Jupon Gatana who tried to hire me, but then Keroberos told me that as the new Card Captor I have to..  
  
Amiboshi: Ok, ok, ok, we get the picture. Now could you head on with the story already?  
  
"The Confusing Game"  
  
Miaka-Nakago Tamahome-Yui Hotohori-Ashitare Nuriko-Amiboshi Chichiri-Suboshi Tasuki-Soi Mitsukake-Miboshi Chiriko-Tomo  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
In the other corner are the Seiryuu warriors starting a debate.  
  
"Traitors! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!" Tomo, who looks very cute and cuddly in Chiriko's body, raged in front of his giggling comrades. "What?!!"  
  
"*Snickers* Sorry, Tomo. We couldn't help it." Amiboshi, who is in Nuriko's body, explains. "It's just that we don't think it's a good idea you wear your make-up back while in the form of that kid, 'cause you look like a *snickers* walking doll!"  
  
Then all of them break into a merry laughter while little Tomo clenches his fists and shivers in fury.  
  
"Baka! My make-up helps me increase my powers! Pimps like you just don't understand this!" Tomo screams amidst the laughter. He fell silent for a moment, and then continues, "Fine, laugh all you want. traitors."  
  
Everyone falls into a void silence for a while.  
  
"Now we're the traitors?" Suboshi , who is in Chichiri's body, stands up. "Hello! So, like, where is he now anyway? After he left us almost, like, losing our lives over that brat's monsters, *stares at Miboshi, who is in Mitsukake's body, from head to foot*, uh, yeah, brat. Uhm, haven't you realized it yet? He is, like, soooo the one who betrayed us!"  
  
"Eeeewww! Will you cut it out? You sound like a sissy high school brat or something," Tomo exclaimed. "And I'm supposed to be the only sissy member there ever is among the Seiryuu Shichiseishi!"  
  
"Brother!" Suboshi, who is in Chichiri's body, cries to his older brother like a baby while hanging on to the latter's arm. Amiboshi, who is in Nuriko's body, then lets his protective brotherly instincts emerge and stands face to face with Tomo who is in little Chiriko's body.  
  
"Eh, you shouldn't talk to my brother that way. After all, you're the only sissy around here as far as I can see."  
  
Tomo answers, "Ooh, look who's talking! Why don't you take a look at yourself in the mirror first. At least I'm not the one who is trapped inside a bisexual, cross-dressing shichiseishi who has a terrible fashion sense."  
  
Then Nuriko, who is in Amiboshi's body, suddenly comes out of nowhere and gave poor Tomo a fatal bonk on his head shortly after he heard it.  
  
*Boink! *  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
Then Nuriko leaves after his retaliation.  
  
"Ehehe, why Nuriko, I didn't know you were here. Ehehe," Tomo smiles weakly as his head smokes with a severe swelling. "Hey Suboshi, like where ever did you get it from anyway?"  
  
Then he falls into a deep flashback trying to recall the culprit who had started it all.  
  
(Start of the Tomo's flashback)  
  
"Tomo, why don't you help me choose a dress for the summoning of Seiryuu? I know I'm not the Miko, but all of us have to look their best in this event, right?" Soi pleads.  
  
With one hand resting on his hips and the other twirling the ornamental feather hanging from his headpiece, Tomo answered, "Duh! Like I care, sista! I'd rather die than, like, see you in those elegant, expensive, sexy gowns that only look good on me anyway! *blush* O my gosh, like, I can't wait to see how Nakago's going to react once he sees me in my sooo pretty pink cocktail dress!"  
  
"Tomo you worthless freak of nature!" Soi angrily grabs the sissy shichiseishi by the collar.  
  
(End of the Tomo's flashback)  
  
"Err, yeah, right. But you do lack originality then for that matter, Suboshi." Tomo mumbles. Then he continues, "Where the heck are Ashitare and Miboshi anyway?"  
  
"Tehehe, good boy." Miboshi, who is in Mitsukake's body, amusingly brushes the long silky black hair of Ashitare who is in Hotohori's body. Ashitare dreamily lies on his tummy in the grass.  
  
"Hey Miboshi, you should ask Uncle Nakkie to get you a pet doggie some time," Yui calls out.  
  
"A doggie? But Miboshi don't want another doggie. Miboshi want princess!" Miboshi insists as he points to the beautiful emperor relaxing beside him on the grass.  
  
"Hmmm, only now do I realize that Mitsukake and Hotohori could've made one cute couple," Soi says to herself as she looks at Miboshi and Ashitare having some splendor on the grass.  
  
"So now what? What should we do to make Nakago pay for leaving us? I can't wait!" Suboshi excitedly exclaims.  
  
"You won't get away with this, you fools! Don't you realize that what Nakago could be doing away from us right now might prove to be of help to us."  
  
"Maybe he's right. We should listen to Tomo," Yui, who is in Tamahome's body, defends.  
  
"Why don't you two just admit that you have a crush on Nakago!" Soi, who is in Tasuki's body, mumbles.  
  
Yui's cheeks blushed, afterwards she turns to Soi and gives her a stern look, "Soi, what's wrong with you? I thought you've always been by his side."  
  
With a dramatic background music playing, Soi stood up from the corner while the wind softly gusts her hair away from her face and said, "Yeah, you're right. I've always been by his side. *Sniff* I've always served him, body and soul. But no, he doesn't even give a dog's flea about it."  
  
"Boy you can say that again!" Chichiri, who is in Suboshi's body, agreeably says from the other scene as he pours flea powder all over Hotohori who is in Ashitare's body. "Butt out, Suzaku warrior! This is supposed to be my part, you're ruining my scene! No offense to Chichiri fan girls out there. Anyways, I do love Nakago-sama very much. But he just takes me for granted! *Sniff* Why?!! Is there something wrong with me?!!! *Sniff-sniff* 'Tis very sad to love that even if you know too well that you can never the same in return. *Sniff* Well, if you love the person, set him free. If he comes back then you're truly meant to be."  
  
Then Tomo who is very teary-eyed hands Soi a box of tissues and says, "So sad. I know just how you feel, Soi. I understand you."  
  
Then the rest of the Seiryuu warriors become teary-eyed as well shortly before they all cried fountains of tears.  
  
"Whaaaaaaaaa!!!"  
  
"Nakago-sama should pay for this!" Soi yelled.  
  
"O dear. Do something, Tomo. You can't just let this happen, can you?" Yui pleads.  
  
"Don't worry, Seiryuu no Miko. I have an idea. Kakakakaka.." Tomo cackles again.  
  
While on the other side where the Suzaku warriors are..  
  
"M-Mia-ka, what's happened to you? You've become Nakago, and now you just said, 'da'? What is the meaning of this?" Tamahome, who is in Yui's body, says with a baffled look on his face (or is it her face?).  
  
Chichiri, who is disguising as Miaka who in turn is in Nakago's body, tensely answers, "Ehehe, no, it's not what you think, no da. Ooops, uh I mean, ehehe. O let's cut the act and get straight with you. Miaka is being abducted! You've got to save her, no da!"  
  
"What? I knew it. I have to go find her."  
  
  
  
Meanwhile inside the cave..  
  
"That.. was.. my favorite.. shirt. *Sniff-sniff* Goodbye to my favorite cotton shirt," Nakago, who is in Miaka's body, weeps at the sight of his favorite white shirt being torn apart.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Nakago. But we don't have any choice. We can't use the cloth of my school uniform as a pad because it's rough, and then it would make you feel more uncomfortable wearing it. Good thing it just so happens that you're wearing a shirt made of soft cotton, so that should serve as a good pad as of now," Miaka, who is in Nakago's body, consoles the dismayed Nakago in the hopes of relieving his PMS. Then Miaka continues, "I think we should go back to the others, Nakago. They're probably looking for us right now."  
  
But then as she is about to stand up, Nakago suddenly lets out a necklace with a circular pendant and started to swing it in front of her eyes. Nakago tries to hypnotize Miaka! Her eyes then become drowsy and blank and she bats not a single lash.  
  
"You will believe that I actually succeeded in raping you. You then already lost your virginity. You will not remember anything that has occurred before this. Now tell me what you remember."  
  
"You will believe that I actually succeeded in raping you. You then already lost your virginity. You will not remember anything that has occurred before this. Now tell me what you remember."  
  
"I didn't say you have to repeat what I exactly said! Do it again. "  
  
"Nakago is being raped by Miaka, and now he has lost his virginity."  
  
"No, no, no! That's not it! Do it again."  
  
"Nakago raped Tamahome and now Tamahome is no longer a virgin."  
  
"Baka! Can't you even follow simple instructions?!! Now for the last time, tell me what you remember," now this time, Nakago is already quite annoyed.  
  
"Nakago actually succeeded in raping me. I already lost my virginity."  
  
"Good. Now, at the count of three, you will go to sleep and remember nothing. One, two, three.."  
  
Then Miaka falls to the ground and falls into a deep slumber.  
  
"Sorry about that. I appreciate your help in securing me a pad though. No hard feelings."  
  
Tamahome arrives just in time when Nakago comes out of the cave. He suspected something is not right. Nakago turns his head to him and sees Tamahome on a horse, then he gave him an evil grin.  
  
"What did you do to Miaka?" Tamahome, who is in Yui's body, angrily asks.  
  
Nakago, who is in Miaka's body, still only answers him with a wordless, wicked grin.  
  
"What did you do to her?!!!" Tamahome asks again.  
  
"I thought she was just a kid," Nakago turns his back to Tamahome, and then he continues, ".. but her body tells me that she is already enough of a woman."  
  
When Nakago walked away, he said to himself, "MY body? Already enough of a woman?? What was I saying???"  
  
Tamahome, who is in Yui's body, got terribly angry. "Darn you!" he shouts as he fires a power blast towards Nakago.  
  
Nakago didn't quickly notice the power blast and failed to elude it just in time. He would've already been toasted if it weren't for Soi, who is in Tasuki's body, coming to his rescue.  
  
"Soi!"  
  
"I'll cover you, Nakago-sama," Soi assures him yet at the same time, she eyes Amiboshi who is hiding in a nearby bush.  
  
(The ending theme "Tokimeki no Doukasen" now plays.)  
  
Tomo: Well? Is that it?  
  
Heradevion: Yeah, that's just about it as of now. We will still have to wait for the sequel.  
  
Tomo: O boy, here we go again! We will have to suffer again for God-knows- how-long waiting for the sequel.  
  
Soi: When will this sick story end anyway?  
  
Nakago: Guys, don't be too harsh on her. She's worked hard to come this far. It's not that easy.  
  
Heradevion: *Teary-eyed* Why Nakago, I didn't know you care.  
  
Nakago: -_-; Get on with the disclaimer already.  
  
  
  
To be continued..  
  
Fushigi Yuugi© 1995 Yu Watase/ Shogakukan, TV Tokyo, Studio Pierrot/ Telesuccess Productions. 


End file.
